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But growing up black in an all-white town, I was also a generally accepted kind of pretty: white adults saw my blackness as an addition to my cuteness; their white children stared at my brown skin and afro with genuine wonder as opposed to judgement and fear. After that, I knew I was beautiful with a caveat; I was attractive with an asterisk. The precocious and outgoing girl that I had been, who loved to pose and perform and tell stories and make art, became emotionally fluent in the art of self-doubt. Photograph: Rebecca Carroll By the time I got to middle school, it very quickly became clear that my days of being gorgeous, let alone pretty, were over. Surrounded by girls with smooth, pale skin and shiny blond hair, who tried to tan but never to openly affect blackness, and who crimped their hair but found my coarse, kinky hair oddly remarkable, I realized that Barbie was real, and she was a nightmare.

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The Challenges of Raising a Black Girl to Feel Beautiful "We need to shift the conversation from embracing inclusion to teaching pride. What did she look like? Were her eyes a deep brown hue? Was her nose full with wide nostrils? What about her skin—did it have an umber tone?

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His wide grin. "Wait, are you. " He tipped his chin and stuck out his lower lip. "I'm sorry, it was too easy.

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" Tears formed in my eyes without warning. I prayed that he wouldn't notice. "At the last training session, they told me to not give up. They were sure there was a girl out there who would accept me for who I was, flaws and all the bling included.

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Fisted my hands. Still, my legs swayed. Chris pulled on me until I stepped back, halting when my calves hit the edge of the bed. His left arm slid around my side, his hand moving up to cup my right breast.

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Bringing Christmas every year instead of stealing it. When I turned on the light, I noticed tissues littered the floor around the garbage can. Clothes were overflowing the hamper since I usually did laundry on the weekends. And then there was my reflection in the mirror. Blotchy skin, hair that looked like I'd been sleeping in a bush not on my bed, and my nose was so red, I was surprised it wasn't signaling Santa.

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